What I Never Did is Done
by rayrae118
Summary: Complete AU reimagining of TC's past. When his father returns, TC will have to deal with all the emotions seeing the man again brings up, as well as his friends discovering a past he has tried so hard to hide. Warning for abuse (not incredibly detailed, but it's there) and dark themes.
1. Chapter 1

**OK, this idea kind of came out of left field. I have no idea what made me think of it, but it took hold, and I just had to write it!**

 **Summary: Complete AU imagining of TC's past/childhood. Without giving too much away, TC's mother died giving birth to him, and his father was abusive. He managed to overcome all kinds of odds to get out from under that past, and he thought he had put it behind him. Until his father returns.**

 **Timeline wise, this is probably early to mid-season two. Jordan's not pregnant, but Chavez is gone. Gwen and Kenny are a couple. Rick has left Drew.**

 **The title for this story comes from _If I Die Young_ , by The Band Perry (one of my personal favorite songs ever, and sort of some inspiration behind this story).**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Night Shift**

It was just barely eleven o'clock, and TC already couldn't wait for the shift to be over.

He had woken up with a huge headache, and despite downing as much Advil as was possible without doing any actual harm to his body, it wasn't going away.

The shift itself wasn't too bad – typical college idiots, car accidents, bar fights; one group who felt the need to recreate the Battle of San Jacinto, for reasons TC had expended a considerable amount of effort trying not to ask about.

But the kid from two nights ago was still unconscious, and try as he might, TC couldn't stop his mind from wandering up to that room in the ICU every time he had a free minute.

Everyone had told him not to dwell on it; that everything would be fine, and the kid's father had been arrested. That it was over.

It made TC want to punch someone. He hated when people said those things; they were the words of someone who had absolutely no idea what he or she was talking about.

It wouldn't be over for Kevin. Yes, his father had been arrested, but now what? As far as TC knew, the kid had no other family. He would end up in the system, and what if he wasn't able to find a good home? Kevin was about to face a world of unknowns. At least with his father, he had known what to expect. He had been able to find a rhythm that maybe didn't work great, but it had been a sense of normal.

Now what? Another home, another set of rules to learn, and what if they were worse than his father?

TC grimaced as he leaned against the wall of the deserted corridor, trying to collect himself. He didn't usually get like this for every abuse case, but sometimes, when the situation was so similar to his own, he couldn't help but flash back.

 _TC had been fifteen, when the world came crashing down around him._

 _For fifteen years, life had been simple; OK, not exactly simple, but routine. TC knew where he stood, and what was expected of him: don't draw attention, keep your head down, don't talk back, don't yell or scream, and above all,_ don't tell anyone _._

 _It wasn't ideal, but TC knew that it was always his fault anyway, so why argue?_

 _He shouldn't have done it. He should have just kept going by marking down the days until he turned eighteen, and could leave._

 _But there's only so many times you can be told that it's your fault your mother's dead, that you'll never amount to anything, and that you're nothing more than a waste of space, before you snap._

 _TC didn't know if he had actually been trying to kill himself, but it had felt so good to take those pills, drink that vodka, and just let it all slip away. For the first time in fifteen years, his father's voice had been drowned out. For the first time in fifteen years, he hadn't felt worthless._

 _Of course Thad had found him. He ended up at the hospital, and TC remembered very clearly hearing the argument between his father, Thad, and the doctor. The latter two wanted to keep TC for observation, but his father ended up signing him out AMA, and he was back in hell._

 _It was only a few weeks after that when everything changed._

 _TC wasn't sure his father had really meant to go so far. It had been a normal after-dinner 'lesson' in his true worth, but his father hadn't stopped when he normally did. He just kept going. When the knife came out, the part of TC that was still conscious knew that this was it: he wasn't going to stop this time._

 _The police had come shortly after TC had passed out, and when he had woken up in the hospital a day later, Thad was there, telling him that everything was going to be all right. He would never leave his little brother again._

 _If only it had been that simple. The fact of the matter was, Thad was only eighteen. The stupid judge wouldn't give him custody, and so TC had ended up shuffled off to a foster home._

 _He made it approximately five months, before Thad found out about asshole father number two. TC had thought about telling him before, but it just didn't seem necessary._

 _It wasn't like his foster father ever made him lose consciousness. And his foster father had never broken any bones, so TC honestly just didn't think he needed to tell anyone. It was better than his father, after all._

 _But then Thad saw the bruises, and made TC tell the truth. And when he was finished, Thad just gave him a hug and spent the rest of the night apologizing. He had promised that he would take care of his brother, and he had failed,_ again _._

 _Once the pity party was over, Thad got serious and worked out a plan to get his brother out. He would never trust anyone to take care of TC again. From now on, he would do it himself, come hell or high water._

 _Thad knew that TC was smart. Even with all the crap going on at home, he had always been at the top of his class in school. So Thad got TC a couple of prep books, and told him to start studying for the GED. TC had been confused, but it didn't take long to figure out Thad's plan._

 _He took the test a few weeks before his sixteenth birthday, and had a court date set for the actual day of his birthday._

 _Thad had a friend who was pre-law, and had managed to convince his friend to get one of his professors to represent them in court. It hadn't really been that hard; all TC had to do was show the law professor the bruises from his foster father. Once Thad had explained the situation, he had been happy to help._

 _Court had been nerve-wracking. Thad and TC sat together at the table with Thad's friend's professor, presenting their evidence to support TC's emancipation._

 _It was pretty simple, really; TC had received the results of his GED test, and had passed with flying colors. Thad had found a two-bedroom apartment in a decent area of town, and they would live together. The professor made TC go to a doctor to get an official record of the foster father's abuse. As his father was in prison and his mother was dead, there was no one to claim parental rights._

 _TC and Thad both stood before the judge and pleaded their case._

 _They were fortunate to get a sympathetic judge who actually considered their case, and recognized that the two brothers needed this, and would be able to make it work._

 _At sixteen years old, TC was officially declared an adult._

A door slammed down the hall, and TC flinched, his mind flying back to the present with force.

Shuddering slightly, he forced himself to push the past aside, and get back to work.

Jordan found him a few minutes later, and thankfully didn't try and psychoanalyze him.

TC was incredibly thankful for Jordan. He knew how lucky he was, and he still kicked himself over letting her go all those years ago. Now that they were back together, he vowed to never make the same mistake again.

Jordan was the only person who knew why Kevin's situation was affecting him so much. Unlike everyone else, she hadn't told him that it was over, and that everything would be all right. Because she knew what TC still went through on a daily basis. The constant doubt, uncertainty, moments of fear and hesitation, the lack of self-worth. Jordan had been amazing at getting him past all of that when they had started dating, but it never really went away.

TC never wanted anyone to know about his childhood. Even Topher thought that his parents were both dead. As far as anyone knew, his father had died in a car accident when he was a teenager. He always marked the man deceased on any form he had to fill out. There was no need to tell anyone that he had spent fifteen years in prison, or that TC had had a very near breakdown when he had found out that the asshole had been paroled six months ago.

Jordan was the only one who knew the truth, and he had only told her because she had caught him in the middle of a horrible nightmare one time, back when they had first started dating. He had been certain that she would leave after that, but she had just slapped him upside the head and told him that she didn't care about the past. She loved him for who he was. Yes, she had wanted to make sure that he wasn't suicidal anymore, but he had assured her that it had been a mistake, and he knew that. He had many more reasons for living now than he had had back then.

Jordan let out an inaudible sigh as she saw TC's eyes glaze over slightly, and knew that he kept flashing back to the past. She wished she could say or do something to make it better, but she had no idea what would do that. If there _was_ anything that would do that.

So instead of speaking, she just leaned gently into his side, wrapping an arm around his waist.

TC shook himself off and looked down into her concerned gaze. "I'm fine," he said softly, knowing that she didn't believe him, and knowing that she had every reason not to.

Jordan just nodded slightly, not calling him out. They'd talk later. She watched him walk away worriedly, hating the situation with a passion. She vowed to keep a closer eye on him tonight, since he would likely be like this until Kevin woke up. TC really needed people to take care of him at times. It wasn't that he couldn't do it himself, but he was just usually so busy taking care of everyone else, that he forgot about himself. She sometimes felt like it was her job to look after him, while he looked after everyone else. It could be a challenge at times, but she happily embraced her self-appointed role. TC was an amazing guy, even if he didn't see it himself, and he deserved someone looking out for him.

 **XXX**

TC had spent a lot of time in the ICU over the last couple of days. He had come in early, and stayed late, just watching Kevin from the doorway, hesitant to actually enter the room.

He had done this before. They had gotten a pretty bad abuse case last year, and TC had acted the same way. It wasn't necessarily the overall situation, it was just that TC sometimes saw himself in these kids. It reminded him so much of his own life. Kevin was fourteen, his mother had died when he was a baby, and he had lived with his father's abuse for most of his life.

A beeping sound intruded his thoughts, and TC rushed in, realizing that Kevin was actually waking up.

Scott joined him a moment later, hiding his surprise at seeing the ER doctor up here.

Scott had been the one to operate on Kevin, and like everyone else, had been disgusted and horrified at what the kid's father had done to him. He had seen the single-minded focus TC had displayed when Kevin had come into the hospital, and of course, had had to fight TC when the doctor had wanted to join him in the OR.

Fortunately, Jordan had managed to convince him to let a surgeon handle it; Scott could admit that he still harbored some ill feelings over the way things had gone between him and the female doctor, but he couldn't deny that she seemed to be good for TC. Watching those two together just made him realize that he had been nothing more than a rebound, and it was bittersweet.

It took a few minutes to calm Kevin down, and Scott oddly found himself relegated to the background as TC took charge, somehow knowing exactly what to say to get the teenager to stop fighting to escape the bed.

Once Kevin stopped thrashing, TC turned to glance at Scott. "Can you give us a minute?" he asked softly, the look in his eyes pleading for the surgeon to just agree and leave the room.

Scott nodded stoically, and walked out. He didn't go far, and just watched TC and Kevin from the hall, seeing everything through the glass doors, but unable to hear anything.

TC spent a minute resettling the blankets around Kevin, before he sat down on the edge of the bed. "It's OK to be angry," he said quietly, drawing the teenager's gaze to him. Kevin looked disbelieving, and TC shrugged. "You're allowed to hate the neighbor who called the police, the paramedics who brought you here, the doctors who fixed you up. It wasn't great, but you knew how to deal with it, right?" Kevin nodded slowly, eyes wide. TC smiled slightly. "Your dad's been arrested, and I don't know what will happen next. I want to tell you that everything's going to work out, but I can't, because it might not. But I refuse to lie to you, Kevin. Thing are going to be hard. It's on you, now. It's not fair, but no one's going to give you any free rides. You won't get the same breaks other kids might. If you decide that you want more out of life, then you have to make it happen."

Kevin appeared to consider that for a moment, before he tilted his head to the side. "Who are you?"

TC chuckled. "Doctor Callahan. Call me TC. I work here."

Kevin nodded slightly, and then bit his lip, his gaze skittering away to the far wall. "How do you…?" he trailed off, unable to finish, but TC understood.

With a small sigh, he reached out and grasped Kevin's hand lightly, ignoring the subtle flinch. "I hated it when people told me to be grateful," he admitted. "When they said that everything would be all right, that the doctors were there to help, that I'd never have to see him again. I didn't understand why I couldn't be angry. Why it was wrong for me to hate that people had found out." He grimaced, and Kevin turned back to look at him, hanging onto every word coming out of TC's mouth.

"It was the way I had always lived, and I thought that I deserved it. But I didn't, and it took me a long time to realize that." He leaned forward slightly. "I know you don't want to hear it right now, Kevin, but you don't deserve it either." Kevin looked down, his expression clearly showing his disbelief. "You don't believe me now, and you probably won't for a while. But eventually, you'll understand that what he did was wrong, and that nothing can excuse his behavior. It doesn't matter what you think you did, or what he thinks you did. There is no acceptable reason for him beating the crap out of you."

Kevin snorted softly at the choice of words, even if he didn't think they were true.

TC sighed again. "You'll probably be here for another day or two, and then social services will take over." He grimaced slightly at the reminder of his own time in the system. "If you ever need anything, Kevin, you can always come to me. Day or night."

 **XXX**

Scott watched TC in growing amazement, stunned at the way Kevin appeared to be hanging onto his every word. He had seen TC in action as a doctor many times, but he had never really spent much time observing him after the fact.

He hadn't realized that TC had such a good bedside manner before.

"Hey, Scott, when you have a second, can you give me a consult?"

Scott jumped slightly as Topher came up behind him. He hadn't heard the other doctor approach.

Topher chuckled lightly. "Didn't mean to startle you."

Scott nodded quickly. "It's fine." He glanced back at the ICU room, and frowned. "Hey, Topher, what are TC's parents like?"

Topher raised an eyebrow, following the surgeon's gaze; his own eyes narrowed slightly at the scene in front of them. TC was really great with kids, but considering the circumstances surrounding Kevin's admittance, it was somewhat surprising to see how well the kid seemed to be connecting with the doctor. He wouldn't have expected Kevin to be willing to open up to anyone, but it looked like they were in the middle of a pretty intense discussion.

"They died when he was a kid," the older doctor informed Scott, turning his gaze away from his friend. "Why?"

Scott frowned, his mind rushing to draw some sort of conclusion. TC seemed to know exactly what to do and say to get Kevin to respond, and it indicated some very unpleasant possibilities. "No reason," he replied, not wanting to get into it. TC's life was his own. Scott had no business prying. They weren't friends; they barely even tolerated each other.

Topher didn't look convinced, but he nodded dutifully, and led Scott back down the hall, to go over a patient's MRI to determine if surgery was necessary.

 **XXX**

TC was still thinking about Kevin three days later; social services had come by shortly after he had woken up, and Kevin had insisted TC stay while the woman told him what would happen. They had found a distant relative who was happy to take him in – something like the son of the cousin of his grandfather, but TC hadn't quite been able to track the actual relationship. He had come down from Dallas, and seemed to be a good guy, with a wife, two kids of his own, a steady job, and an easygoing personality that Kevin could probably get used to, given time.

Kevin had bonded quite well with TC, and wanted him to be present whenever there was another person in his room; TC was, of course, happy to oblige. He was happy for the kid – unlike TC, he had family that could take care of him.

Oh, TC didn't blame Thad at all. He had done his best, he had just been too young to actually be given custody. But they had had no other family, and TC hated the way the system worked.

Kevin had left with his cousin yesterday, a piece of paper with TC's cell phone number clutched in his hand like a lifeline, and a promise that he could call or text at any time.

TC was thinking about the look of wonder on Kevin's face when his cousin had greeted him with a smile and a hug yesterday evening – like he couldn't believe anyone was happy to see him – when Molly interrupted.

"TC, there's a patient in trauma two. He's requested to be seen by you."

TC furrowed his brow slightly, but nodded and headed towards the room.

If he hadn't spent the first fifteen years of his life learning how to control his emotions and reactions, he might have stumbled in shock.

 _Why now_?

Beyond the subtle clenching of his jaw, he gave no other outward sign of distress, as he turned to the nurse who was waiting with the patient. "Jocelyn, you can leave."

Jocelyn frowned in confusion, but nodded and left the room quickly. TC immediately shut the curtains, before he turned back around to face the patient. "What are you doing here?" he asked, his voice low with an uncertain waiver he tried desperately to hide.

Richard Callahan just smirked in amusement. "Why can't I just come see my son?" he asked.

"How about the restraining order?" TC replied, glaring slightly.

Richard's smile dropped slightly, but he didn't let it deter him. "You know you're too much of a coward to get anyone to enforce that, boy."

TC tried really hard not to flinch, but knew he wasn't completely successful. "What do you want?" he asked, his tone resigned as he folded his arms across his chest, clenching his hands tightly to stop them from shaking.

Richard grinned widely, leaning back on the bed as if he didn't have a care in the world. "Don't try to pretend you're all important now, kid. Just because you're a hotshot doctor doesn't mean you're better than me. Just remember that I know what you really are. Weak, worthless. Pathetic."

Just two minutes, and TC was already reverting back to the teenager his father had made him. He hadn't seen the man in nearly sixteen years, and he was perfectly fine with that. Why the hell did the asshole have to resurface now? He had gotten out six months ago, why wait this long to show up and make his life a living hell?

He kept trying to speak, to say something to get him to shut up, but his mouth wouldn't work.

The metallic hiss of the curtain opening caused him to jump slightly and turn in his spot. Topher looked startled at the reaction, but didn't comment. "Hey, T, when you've got a second, I could use your opinion on something."

TC nodded quickly, about to tell Topher he'd be right there, but Richard laughed loudly at the notion. "Please don't tell me you actually look to _him_ for anything."

Topher frowned slightly, confused. "What –"

TC swallowed harshly. "I'll be there in a minute, Toph. I was just telling this man that he has a cough," he turned back to Richard, "and that he should just go home and rest."

Topher nodded slowly. "If you're sure." He wasn't convinced, but knew better than to push TC if he didn't want to talk, so he dutifully left the room.

Jocelyn greeted him with a concerned look at the nurse's station. "Is TC still in there?" she asked softly.

Topher nodded. "He said the guy had a cough. Why?"

Jocelyn pursed her lips, looking over at the trauma room in question. "The patient told me he had a stomachache, and requested TC personally."

Topher frowned slightly, glancing back at the room.

Jocelyn shrugged, looking down. "I know it's none of my business," she admitted, "but TC looked kind of surprised when he came in, and not in a good way. He also asked me to leave immediately."

Topher bit his lip, worried against his better judgment. TC could take care of himself. If he needed help, he'd ask. Right?

Topher didn't even need to hear the laughing in his head at that statement, to know that it was a stupid thought. TC never asked for help.

Jordan interrupted their conversation by placing a clipboard down on the nurse's desk, before leaning on the short wall tiredly. "How much longer before this shift ends?" she asked rhetorically.

It had been a really busy night, and she was looking forward to getting off of her feet.

Topher and Jocelyn shared a look, and Jordan was immediately on edge. "What's up?" she asked quickly.

Topher sighed, shrugging slightly. "It's probably nothing," he admitted.

Jordan raised an eyebrow. "If it was nothing, you wouldn't be acting like this. What's TC done now?"

She knew that there was only one person who made Topher this worried.

Topher grimaced, glancing back at the trauma room. "He's in there with a patient right now. I don't know, the guy just gave me some bad vibes."

Jocelyn nodded in agreement. "He seemed to really rattle TC."

Jordan frowned worriedly. "Did he give a name?"

"Richard," Jocelyn replied when the two doctors looked at her. "No last name."

Jordan bit her lip. "What'd he look like?"

"Dark hair, brown eyes, about TC's height," Jocelyn rattled off, remembering the man she had gotten settled in the trauma room. "A little scruffy, kind of like he hasn't really been concerned with grooming or anything. Had a tattoo on his arm, but I didn't want to ask. It looked like a prison tattoo. He kind of looked a little like TC," she admitted quietly.

Jordan's eyes widened as she suddenly realized why this guy sounded familiar. TC didn't have many pictures of his childhood, but there was one that she had seen, so many years ago. It was of him, Thad, and their father. TC couldn't have been more than six or so in the picture, but she had been able to see the familial resemblance between all three Callahan men. What the hell was he doing here?

Jordan remembered receiving a panicked call from TC one day about six months ago. She had been concerned, since he usually tried not to bother her off shift, after they had broken up.

Going over to his apartment, she had been immediately alarmed, and had had to decipher the problem through a lot of muttering and what was clearly a panic attack. His father had been paroled. Jordan hadn't realized how much comfort TC had taken from the fact that his father was locked up, before that point. He was terrified of the man, and Jordan had been hard-pressed to talk him down. He had almost blacked out at one point, from a lack of oxygen; Jordan had been tempted to call 9-1-1, but as soon as she had told him that, he had managed to calm down slightly.

That incident was a major reason why she had been so much more lenient than everyone else with TC's behavior after Topher had gotten shot, even beyond the revelation about what had happened to Thad; that whole horrible nightmare had taken place only three days after his father had been paroled, and Jordan knew that he had already been close to breaking, when they had been taken hostage.

"Jordan?"

Jordan flinched, and turned to face the night shift chief. By the concerned gaze, she could tell that this wasn't the first time he had called her name. Shaking herself off, she attempted a smile that fell far short. "Sorry. It would probably be a good idea to make sure everything's all right in there."

Topher furrowed his brow. "You know who this guy is."

Jordan shrugged, but quickly began making her way over to the trauma room, deliberately not answering the question. There was a reason TC had never told Topher, and she wouldn't betray his trust, even if she didn't understand her boyfriend's aversion to admitting he needed help sometimes.

Before she reached the room, there was a muffled shout and then the sound of flesh hitting flesh, which caused almost everyone in the ER to turn towards the confrontation.

A moment later, the curtain to trauma two flew open, and TC reemerged. His right arm was locked around the neck of what most assumed to be a patient, while his left had the stranger's arm in a vice grip.

Paul had to jump out of the way or be run over, as TC manhandled the patient towards the exit.

Topher made to separate the two, but Jordan held him back, shaking her head slightly. "Don't," she said quietly.

Topher didn't understand, but if Jordan thought this patient needed to leave, then he wouldn't question it.

"Pathetic," the stranger managed to choke out, causing TC to quicken his pace. "Never could do anything right. At least your brother managed to properly kill himself."

Everyone in the ER stilled at those words. More than one cast a worried look at the tall doctor; everyone knew the story of TC's brother by now. After Nick Woods had come in last year, the story had circulated; how Thad and TC had served together, how he had been killed in action during TC's last tour. After Topher's injury a few months ago, more details had emerged, and most of them knew that TC still blamed himself for his brother's death.

Drew was ready to jump between TC and this stranger – who honestly deserved whatever TC decided to dole out, but it probably wouldn't be the best idea considering TC had already been on suspension once this year.

Surprisingly, however, TC made no sign that he had even heard the man, as he just wrestled him out the door.

"Am I missing something?" Michael asked, confused, once the two were no longer in sight.

Scott turned towards Jordan, immediately noting her anxious expression, and the way she seemed unable to look away from the ER exit.

"What the hell just happened?" Gwen demanded, leaning against the nurse's station as Kenny just sat on the desk. The two had been enjoying a little break in a secluded corner, when they had been interrupted by the commotion.

Nobody answered, as TC chose that moment to reappear. He determinedly didn't meet anyone's gaze as he walked through the ER and towards the stairs, and his thunderous expression deterred anyone from attempting to approach him.

Jordan was following without a second thought.

"Jordan!" Topher called out, still hoping for clarification.

The female doctor stopped and turned around to face her friend. "If he comes back, call the cops," she ordered, before going to find her boyfriend.

That didn't explain anything, but Topher just turned to the phone at the nurse's station. It couldn't hurt to give security a heads up, and maybe have them send someone down, just in case.

One confusing conversation later, and he hung up, wondering why security was calling the police in immediately.

 _Please review!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Night Shift**

Jordan hesitantly pushed the rooftop door open and stepped outside. Just as she thought, TC was sitting by the edge, staring at the city lights with an unreadable expression on his face.

She had known she would find him up here; even after Ragosa had dismantled the tailgate and moved it, TC still came up here from time to time, just to enjoy the peacefulness.

She cautiously joined him at the edge, taking a seat and dangling one leg over, just like him. Heights had never bothered her before, but it was still several stories down, and a kid had tried to kill himself from this rooftop last year.

"Did you know he was around?" she asked quietly, leaning into his side in the hope that she could offer him some comfort.

TC immediately shook his head. "He moved back to Kerrville when he got out." He had religiously avoided visiting his hometown ever since he had left, and his father's return didn't exactly endear him to go back any time soon. "I thought he was still there."

He sounded completely lost, to Jordan's immediate concern.

TC took a deep breath and shook himself off. "I'm fine," he tried to assure her, but knew that she didn't believe him. "I just hoped I would never have to see him again, and now…" He shuddered slightly and looked down. "I never wanted anyone to know. What am I supposed to tell Topher? He thinks my parents are both dead."

Jordan sighed and gave him a one-armed hug. "You can tell him as much as you're comfortable with," she informed him. "He's your best friend, he'll respect your wishes if you don't want to talk about it."

TC bit his lip. "And everyone else? Scott and Michael already hate me, they have no reason to hold back."

Jordan shook her head. "They don't hate you." TC let out a disbelieving snort, and Jordan rolled her eyes. "They don't. They might not like you very much, but they don't hate you. And if they push too hard, I'll kick their asses. Sound good?"

TC snorted, leaning over to kiss her. Jordan was so amazing, he was constantly wondering why she had chosen him.

When they pulled apart a minute later, Jordan took a deep breath, hoping that what she was about to say wouldn't be taken the wrong way. "T… you'd tell me if seeing him again brought back any of those… other… feelings. Right?"

TC raised an eyebrow. "Are you asking me if I came up here to jump off?" he asked slowly, trying to decide if he should be mad, or grateful that she was concerned.

Jordan shook her head quickly. "No," she rushed to explain, "I just… You haven't seen him in a long time, and a few weeks before he was arrested, you tried to kill yourself! T, I love you so much, the thought of living without you, now that we've finally gotten back together… I can't do it. I need you."

TC silenced her with a kiss, smiling slightly as he leaned back. "I love you too," he assured her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her closer. "I promise I didn't come up here for any reason other than just wanting to think. I was in a really bad place back then, J. I got better. Besides," he smirked softly, bending over to place a gentle kiss on the top of her head, "why would I ever willingly want to leave you again?"

Jordan smiled thankfully, and was about to say something, when a gleam of metal caught her eye. "What's that?" she asked, alarmed, as she took in the gun sitting next to TC.

TC glanced down, and grimaced. "He had it on him," he admitted softly. "I thought it would be best to make sure he didn't leave with it. I'll call the cops and give it to them. It has to be a violation of his parole, right?"

Jordan nodded shakily, trying not to imagine the confrontation that had taken place out of view of everyone in the ER, and how there had been a gun involved.

She leaned into his side, taking comfort in his steady presence. "Please tell me you got a good shot in."

TC shrugged, holding out his right hand to show her the bruised knuckles. "In my defense, I didn't start this one either," he grinned.

Jordan laughed lightly, remembering her first night shift, when TC had come in looking like crap with bruises on his face, and she had given him a hard time about it. He had told her that he hadn't started that fight.

"Did you do any damage?"

TC gave her a slight smirk. "I was a Ranger, Jordan. I know how to throw a punch. He'll probably have to get his nose set, but as long as he breathes through his mouth, it shouldn't… no, it'll still hurt."

Jordan shook her head, but there was no remorse in her expression or her voice as she replied, "Good."

TC nodded, using both arms to draw her into a tight hug. "I love you, J." It was another minute before he sighed gustily and stood up, grabbing the gun and sticking it in his waistband. "We should probably get back to work."

Jordan grimaced slightly, but knew he was right, so with a weary groan, she allowed TC to pull her to her feet.

Together, they made their way back inside.

 **XXX**

Topher was surprised when two police officers arrived barely ten minutes after his phone call to security. He hadn't anticipated such a quick response.

"Can I help you, officers?" he greeted them courteously.

The one on the left nodded briskly. "I'm Officer Peabody, this is Officer Glass. Are you in charge?" When Topher nodded, he handed him a booking photograph. "The hospital's security called us. Did this man come in to your ER tonight?"

Topher glanced at the picture, and nodded again, his eyes narrowing. "One of our doctors kicked him out about fifteen minutes ago."

The two officers shared a look, before Peabody took the mug shot back.

Topher frowned. "Who is he? Should we be concerned?"

Peabody shook his head slightly. "Richard Callahan. He's the main suspect in an armed robbery that took place two days ago. Your hospital security was also informed to keep an eye out; by coming here, he's in violation of a restraining order."

Everyone who heard the officer immediately stopped and turned to face him. Drew, Kenny, and Gwen came up beside Topher, while Molly stood up at her desk, and Paul and Krista quickly set down the clipboards they had been holding, turning all of their attention to the police officers. Scott and Michael moved over from where they had been standing on the far side of the nurse's station, drawn by the name Officer Peabody had just dropped.

"Restraining order?" Topher asked, glancing at the mug shot in the officer's hand. What he wanted to do was demand to know who that guy was, and why he had TC's last name, but he figured that probably wasn't the most tactful question he could ask.

Peabody nodded as he flipped his notebook open and looked at the page. "Taken out by Doctor TC Callahan, six months ago."

"But why?" Michael asked curiously. He knew they had all noticed the same last name, but who was this guy to TC? Why had he taken out a restraining order? What the hell was going on?

The officers looked distinctly uncomfortable. This wasn't why they were here.

Fortunately, the man in question arrived at that moment, one arm still wrapped around his girlfriend's shoulders, while Jordan seemed stuck to his side, unwilling to let him go any time soon.

Peabody stepped forward. "Doctor Callahan, if you have a moment, we'd like to talk about your father."

TC flinched slightly, but nodded and gestured for the officers to follow him to the break room. Jordan wouldn't be left behind, and joined them as well.

"You said his parents were dead," Scott said, confused as he turned to face Topher.

The older doctor was still staring at the now closed door to the break room, wondering what the hell was happening.

Michael cleared his throat. "According to his personnel file, which I read through many times when I was trying to decide whether or not to fire him, his parents are both deceased."

Topher nodded absentmindedly. "He told me his father died in a car accident when he was fifteen."

"So then who was that guy?" Krista asked, worried about the man she had come to greatly admire.

TC was one of those people who just seemed so calm and in control of himself; he knew who he was and where he was going, and he rarely let anything faze him. So why did this have him so rattled? Was it possible that the completely confident doctor they all knew wasn't actually who he really was?

 **XXX**

"Doctor Callahan, we'll try not to take too much of your time," Officer Peabody assured, once they were in the break room. "I understand your father came to see you tonight?"

TC nodded stoically, his jaw clenching at the thought of the man who, because they shared the same DNA, could technically be called his father. "I kicked him out," he said, taking comfort in the way Jordan stayed a steady presence at his side. "Why did he choose now to come? He was paroled six months ago."

Peabody grimaced slightly. "We're very sorry for all this. I don't know why he decided to come now, but I can assure you that we have many officers out looking for him."

"He never should have gotten out in the first place!" Jordan shouted, suddenly furious, despite her best efforts. "He was supposed to be in jail for twenty five years. Why the hell was he paroled?"

Peabody and Glass shared a look, while TC spent a minute calming his girlfriend down.

He turned back to the officers, his expression resigned but understanding. "Don't shoot the messenger, I get it," he said, to their relief. "He was arrested in Kerrville, you have no idea why he got out early." He pulled out the gun and held it out, handle first. "He had this on him when he showed up. I was going to call the police, but you showed up first. I don't know what he did, I don't care what happens to him. Please, arrest him, send him back, and maybe this time, don't let him out."

Peabody nodded, smiling slightly as he took the gun. "I am sorry for what's happened," he assured the couple. "We suspect that he was involved in an armed robbery a few days ago, so this may be the key to tying him to that, thank you." He gestured to the gun. "We understand how hard this must be. I'll leave you my card, and if he shows up again, or if you need to get in touch for any reason, just give me a call."

TC inclined his head, just once, and took the offered business card, stuffing it into his pocket to hide his shaking hand. He really hated this.

The two officers offered very brief farewells, before they quickly left the room.

Jordan nearly melted into TC's firm embrace, getting as much comfort from him as he seemed to be from her.

"I'm all right," he murmured into her ear, hoping that he sounded convincing.

Jordan sniffed and pulled back, studying him critically. "I don't believe you," she said matter-of-factly.

TC snorted, but didn't contradict her, as he leaned back against the arm of the couch, pulling her with him so that she was half-sitting on his lap. "I don't think I'd respect you as much if you did," he admitted ruefully. Jordan raised an eyebrow and TC sighed. "There's a part of me, and I really don't want to admit how big that part is, that just wants to go running for the hills. I hate this. I hate that almost sixteen years later, he still has this power over me. When does it stop? When do I get to breathe again?"

Jordan had to make a concerted effort not to start crying as she leaned into his chest, embracing him tightly.

"They're going to ask," TC whispered into her hair, closing his eyes in defeat. "They're going to ask, and I'm going to have to tell them something."

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to," Jordan tried to reassure him, but he just shook his head defiantly.

"You know how Topher can get. They're all going to want answers, but I just can't…" he shuddered slightly, imagining the inquisition he would have to face from his friends and colleagues. "I spent so long building up this image. I never wanted anyone to know."

Jordan sighed regretfully, knowing how TC must feel. He really had built up this persona of a guy who never had to work for anything. Many times, it came off as arrogant and self-centered, but Jordan had always known that it was all an act. He was remarkably insecure, the result of years of being beaten down and abused. But he was also smart and good at his job, and years with the Army had taught him how to act confident even if he didn't feel that way.

"Whatever happens, I'm here," she promised, hoping it would offer some small amount of comfort.

TC nodded slightly, grateful for her presence. "I know I can be difficult at the best of times," he admitted, "but you've always been there for me. I don't know why you put up with me for so long." Jordan made to interrupt, but TC silenced her with a soft smile as he ran a hand gently through her hair. "I've done a lot of stupid things over the years, you know it's true. I put you through hell." He shrugged, looking down sadly. "I was a mess after Thad died; he was the only person before you who actually cared about me. He's the reason I didn't do it again, after he found me that night." They both knew exactly what he was talking about. "We'd been dependent on each other for so long, it took me a while to figure out how to live without him. And it's still hard. Every day, something happens that I wish I could tell him about. I miss talking to him, pretending not to enjoy the way he would always be looking out for me."

TC snorted in amusement. "Didn't matter to him that I was emancipated, or that I was just as much a Ranger as he was, he always insisted on acting like I needed to be bubble wrapped or something." He sobered. "I never really told him how much I appreciated everything he did for me. He's the one who called the cops. Did I ever tell you that?"

Jordan shook her head slightly, amazed at how much he was opening up to her tonight. TC didn't normally share like this.

TC nodded, his gaze fixed on a point in time that Jordan knew only he could see. "He called the cops and got him arrested, he got me out of that foster home five months later, he got someone to represent us when I applied for emancipation… he's the reason I joined the Army, became a Ranger, went to med school. Everything in my life, I owe to Thad."

And suddenly, Jordan felt a rush of understanding. TC felt that Thad had been the reason behind everything good in his life, and when Thad had needed to depend on him, he had let his big brother down. "T…"

TC shook himself off and refocused on the present. "I'm happy with my life right now. I was doing good, _we_ were doing good. And now I just feel like a teenager again. I hate this."

Jordan knew that he did. TC was a strong, independent Army veteran. But he hadn't always been that way. He had spent the first fifteen years of his life terrified of just going home each afternoon. He had lived each day afraid of saying the wrong thing that would set his father off, afraid that someone would see the bruises, that a doctor would ask the wrong questions. That ingrained learning was clashing with the man he was now, both sides warring for dominance.

Knowing that she couldn't say anything that would help, she just leaned into his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly.

 **XXX**

Everyone was still crowded around the nurse's station when the cops left the break room shortly after entering it.

Topher stepped forward, drawing their attention. "Do we need to be worried?" he asked hesitantly, just wanting someone to tell him what the hell was happening right now.

Peabody sighed, handing the gun off to Glass and gesturing for him to go to the car, before he turned to the group of doctors. "We'll speak with your security, and make sure they have a few people in the ER, just in case. We have a BOLO out, and I don't believe it will take too long to re-arrest Mr. Callahan."

"Is he really T's father?" Drew asked curiously.

Peabody managed to contain a grimace. He really felt for the doctor in question; as one of the officers assigned to the armed robbery from three days ago, he knew the details of why Richard Callahan had been arrested sixteen years ago, and he could make an educated guess that Doctor Callahan had probably not intended for his colleagues to ever find out. "I'm not here to spill any secrets. I'm just trying to do my job. If you'll excuse me, doctors, I need to go." He quickly made his way to the exit, leaving the doctors even more confused.

Topher didn't waste any time in hurrying to the break room, everyone else following behind.

 **XXX**

"Maybe we should take the rest of the shift off," Jordan suggested softly, one hand absentmindedly playing with the hem of TC's shirt.

TC gave a one-shouldered shrug. "I'm fine." He wondered if she was keeping a running tally of how many times he had said that over the last couple of days. He wondered if he was getting any more convincing.

Jordan pulled back and gave him a light glare. "You don't have to keep doing that with me," she admonished. "I'm not here to judge, and I know you're not fine. For Christ's sake, T, the guy tried to kill you."

Unfortunately for the couple, both had their back to the door, so they didn't notice when it opened.

Everyone heard Jordan's comment, but TC was already responding, his voice strained. "I don't think that's what he was planning. It was an accident."

Jordan's glare intensified, as she reached out and pulled TC's shirt up slightly, revealing a faded scar right above his hip. "T, he stabbed you!"

TC shrugged, looking down. "If he had been trying to kill me, he would have picked a more vital spot. It was always about the pain, with him. Why kill his punching bag?"

"T…?" Topher trailed off, not knowing what he was supposed to say. He had just learned so much more about his friend than he had ever thought possible. And he knew that TC had not planned for this to happen; TC hadn't wanted him to find out. Topher was his best friend, and he hadn't wanted him to know.

TC flinched violently at the sound of his friend's voice, cursing himself for not realizing that the door had opened. He held a sliver of hope that Topher was the only one who had come in, but he didn't trust his luck that much.

Indeed, by Jordan's wide-eyed look of worry, he would hazard a guess that there was probably a large group standing in the entrance to the break room.

Knowing that nothing good could come from turning around, he just continued to stare at the far wall, his hands clenching the arm of the couch he was leaning against; a muscle in his jaw ticked as he tried to control his emotions and keep his expression neutral.

Jordan bit her lip in distress, glancing from the group of doctors, plus Kenny, Molly, and Gwen who were all crowded in the doorway, to her boyfriend, who looked like one good poke would shatter him into a thousand pieces.

Damn it, why hadn't they heard the door open?

"Was that man really your father?" Topher asked cautiously, trying to figure out why his best friend would lie to him. They told each other everything. TC had no trouble coming to him to borrow money, or when he needed a place to stay, but he couldn't even tell him the truth about his parents? Was his mother still alive too?

A slight shudder wracked TC's tall frame, and despite their curiosity, all of them were immediately concerned. Jordan rested a hand lightly on his arm, trying to tell him without words that he didn't need to say anything.

"We all have our pasts." TC's voice was emotionless and dead to their ears, not a tone any of them had ever heard from the doctor before. They could imagine the expression on his face even if he was deliberately not looking at them. "Not all of us like to share."

Silence met that claim.

Scott once more thought back to a few days ago, and the way TC seemed to connect so well with Kevin. Analyzing the relationship TC appeared to have with his father, it didn't take a genius to figure out that he knew how to interact with Kevin because he knew what it was like to _be_ Kevin.

Damn it, Scott hated feeling like he had misjudged someone. He hated feeling concern for someone he thought he didn't like. But TC looked so destroyed right now, it just made the surgeon want to apologize for every mean thing he had ever said to the guy.

Topher felt his gaze being drawn to TC's right side, where a patch of scarring was now once more covered as Jordan had dropped his shirt as soon as she had realized they had company.

Topher remembered seeing that scar before, when he and TC had served together. He had asked about it, and TC had told him that it had been a shrapnel wound he had received during his first tour.

Topher hadn't questioned it. Why should he have? He had had no reason to believe that TC was lying to him.

And now?

Topher understood being embarrassed about your past, but TC had never struck him as the kind of guy to have any shame. He just always seemed so confident; that was one reason why it had been so startling to hear about his break down nearly six months ago, after Topher had been shot.

Krista and Paul looked distinctly uncomfortable, but didn't want to make a scene by leaving. Even if they had worked with TC for months, and admired him, looked up to him, respected him, he was still a superior, and not quite a friend just yet.

Everyone else looked torn between pushing for more, and just leaving the couple alone.

Jordan leaned over and whispered something in TC's ear. He sighed, his shoulders wilting slightly as he nodded in resignation, and Jordan turned to face the crowd at the door. Her expression was determined, and she looked like she expected nothing but their immediate cooperation.

"What happened tonight is in no way any of your business. You're going to go back to work, pretend you saw nothing, and never talk about this again. Are we clear?"

"But don't we…" Michael trailed off suddenly as TC stood and turned around, fixing the former administrator with an intense glare as he folded his arms across his chest. It could have been a show of dominance or defiance, if he hadn't looked so close to fracturing.

"Let's get one thing clear, here," TC growled, causing everyone to intentionally lean back at his sudden anger, "I don't owe you anything. You want answers? I really don't care. You don't see me prying into your financial issues," he turned to Drew, "or your relationship trouble." He looked at Gwen. "Yours either." Gwen flinched slightly at the insinuation, startled at the fact that he knew about her ex. TC glanced at Scott. "I don't ask about your drama with your sister and her custody battle with her ex." Scott looked surprised that TC even knew about that. TC turned to Topher last. His expression was confident but there was a very real thread of fear behind it, that only Topher and Jordan could see. "I'm allowed to have a life. I don't have to share everything with you. I can –"

He cut himself off and looked away, his jaw clenching as Jordan rested a hand on his arm, calming him down.

TC took a deep breath to steady himself. "I'm going to take the rest of the night off."

Before anyone could stop him, he pulled himself away from Jordan, and pushed his way through the group still standing in the entrance to the room. They separated easily, not wanting to make things worse by attempting to stop him.

"Jordan?" Topher was hesitant to actually speak, hoping she was a little calmer than her boyfriend.

Jordan's glare was not reassuring. "He's right, Topher. He doesn't owe you anything. He might be your best friend, but do you really tell him absolutely everything?" Topher looked away, guilty. Jordan nodded decisively. "Exactly. Everyone is entitled to their privacy, so stop prying. If he wanted to tell you, he would."

"The police had to be called in," Michael reasoned, worried about TC but trying to hide it. "Shouldn't we at least be able to understand why?"

"Not at his expense," Jordan replied snappishly. "I don't care who you are, you hurt my boyfriend, I will end you."

She left the break room, hoping to catch up to TC before he actually left.

Knowing that there was no reason for them to still be here, Topher gestured for everyone to get back to work.

Once he was alone, Topher quickly made his way towards the staff parking lot. It was a long shot, but he was hoping TC hadn't left yet. He knew he had crossed a line tonight, and he wanted to apologize.

Luck seemed to be with him, as he ducked around a car and saw TC sitting on his motorcycle. Jordan was at his side, and they looked to be in the middle of an intense conversation.

As he got closer, he managed to overhear what she was saying.

"… knows where you work, T, he's got to know other things too. Doesn't your home address have to be disclosed with a restraining order? Please, just go to my place, all right?"

TC seemed to wilt slightly. "I spent fifteen years living in fear of that man, Jordan. I finally got out from under it, and I can't go back."

"This isn't about being tougher or stronger, T, this is about staying alive! Damn it, he had a gun tonight. What if you hadn't been able to get it away from him?"

TC immediately got off his bike so that he could give Jordan a proper hug, rubbing her back reassuringly. "Don't think about the what-if's, J," he murmured. "You'll only wear yourself out."

Topher knew he needed to either announce his presence or leave, so he hesitantly cleared his throat, and was rewarded as both doctors stiffened and pulled apart, looking at the night shift chief with apprehension.

Topher grimaced, hating the way his best friend was looking at him right now. He would give anything to never have TC look at him like that again. "I just wanted to apologize," he said cautiously. "I didn't mean to pry. I just…" he trailed off, uncertain of how to finish that sentence. What had he been trying to do? He had been curious, and he hadn't really thought about TC, just his own selfish desire for information.

"I'm sorry, T," he finally continued, when neither TC nor Jordan looked like they were going to speak. "You don't owe me anything. I was surprised, but it's your life, and you don't have to tell me anything."

TC nodded stoically, not trusting himself to speak just yet. Jordan smiled approvingly at the night shift chief, but was more focused on making sure her boyfriend was all right.

Topher was about to go back inside, when TC's voice stopped him. "He was arrested when I was fifteen."

Topher turned back around, and TC leaned against his bike, taking a seat as Jordan clasped his hand tightly, offering her support.

TC sighed wearily, his gaze fixed on the ground, so that he wouldn't have to see Topher's pitying gaze. "I'm fine with people seeing me as self-centered or arrogant," they all knew he was talking about Scott and Michael, who had never tried to hide their opinions on the tall doctor. "I really don't care. But I don't want people to look at me the way you all did in there. I don't need that. I'm not weak, or helpless."

Topher bit his lip, considering, before he decided to throw caution to the winds, and hesitantly moved over to sit next to TC on the bike. "No judgment," he promised. "As far as I'm concerned, you're still the crazy son of a bitch who saved my life countless times in the sandbox. Nothing could ever change that."

TC drew in a shaky breath, and then let it out, trying to steady himself. "I didn't exactly have the best childhood," he admitted ruefully, feeling better when Jordan squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"You don't have to tell me," Topher said quickly, not wanting TC to feel like he was obligated.

TC smiled slightly and glanced over at the older man. "I know."

Topher nodded slowly. "Just making sure." 

TC bit his lip as he turned his gaze back to the ground. "My mother died having me. My father always blamed me for that." Topher inhaled sharply, but didn't speak. "Thad did his best, trying to provoke him, keep his attention off me. Sometimes it even worked." TC snorted lightly, shaking his head to clear it of the errant memories. "Things got… bad, when Thad turned eighteen. He wanted to get out, but he didn't want to leave me. I told him to go, and then dad kicked him out anyway, so it wasn't like he had much of a choice."

TC swallowed harshly, feeling a burning sensation in his eyes that indicated he might be about to start crying. He ruthlessly squashed that down. He wasn't going to lose it. Not here, in the middle of the staff parking lot at the hospital, and not in front of Topher. "I…" His voice trailed off, and Jordan leaned into his side, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He shook himself off and forced himself to keep going. He had started, and damn it, he was going to finish. "It was a couple months after Thad left that I kind of… made a mistake."

Topher frowned in confusion, and Jordan rolled her eyes at his phrasing, though her expression was full of worry.

TC took a deep breath, steeling himself for the reaction he expected when he told his friend the truth. "Things just got worse, and I couldn't deal with it anymore. I kind of… well, I took a bunch of pills, drank a bottle of vodka, and…"

Topher's eyes widened as he inhaled sharply. "You tried to kill yourself?" His voice was quiet and disbelieving. Even after Afghanistan, after Thad's death and his break up with Jordan, he had never seen TC low enough to attempt that. He just seemed like such a happy guy, it was just… it didn't seem possible.

TC grimaced and shrugged. "I don't know if I really meant to do it," he admitted. "I was just so tired of hearing how worthless I was, and how I would never amount to anything. Anyway," he shook himself off, "Thad found me and called an ambulance."

"And your father was arrested… right?" Topher asked worriedly. He hoped this story was almost over.

TC shook his head tiredly, his eyes showing a world of pain that Topher had never seen before. "He managed to convince the doctors that it was a stupid teenaged mistake, and signed me out AMA. He then proceeded to spend most of the next few weeks showing me the error of my ways." He sighed, slumping down slightly, though he brightened minutely when Jordan began rubbing his back reassuringly with her free hand. "I shouldn't have done it," he said quietly, and Topher had to strain to hear him. "That was rule number one: don't draw attention."

He trailed off, his mind still trapped in the past, and Topher let him have a minute, before he felt it was safe to speak.

"What happened next?"

TC flinched slightly, his jaw clenching in anger and fear and worry and a hundred other emotions Topher was certain he was feeling right now. "A few weeks after the… incident… he got kind of drunk, and just… wouldn't stop. Usually, he'd go to a certain point, and then pass out, but that time…" TC shivered lightly. "He wasn't stopping."

Jordan quickly moved her arm so that she was hugging him, whispering something she hoped was reassuring in his ear.

Topher was fine letting them have a moment. He needed one himself.

Holy crap. Topher suddenly thought about all the times he had complained about his parents over the years – their inability to speak English around him, how they were always offering him unsolicited advice, and countless other remarks that had seemed totally innocuous to him.

God, he was an idiot. TC had always offered a word of encouragement and advice when he could, and Topher had never thought anything about it.

But what had he been feeling, every time Topher had complained about his parents? Had he thought about how lucky Topher was, to have these small problems? Had he wondered why Topher was upset that his parents cared enough to annoy him?

It was several minutes later when TC straightened up and seemed to brace himself for impact, before turning slightly to look at Topher out of the corner of his eye.

Topher did his best to keep his expression neutral, as TC grimaced and forced himself to finish. "Thad picked the right time to stop by for a visit; he called the cops, I ended up in the hospital for a few days. It all worked out."

Jordan cleared her throat pointedly, and TC rolled his eyes. "OK, so I ended up in a foster home with a less intense version of my father, but it only lasted five months. I got emancipated as soon as I turned sixteen. Thad planned it all out – I got my GED, we found a place to live together… everything ended up all right."

Somehow, Topher doubted things had been as simple as TC was trying to make it out to be, but he didn't question the man. He wanted to say something to reassure TC that he didn't see him any differently, but what came out was, "And he's out now."

TC swallowed harshly, looking away as he tried to control the onslaught of emotion. "He served fifteen years of a twenty five year sentence, and was paroled six months ago," he admitted quietly. "When he got out, I took out a restraining order, because he's not really the kind of guy to leave things unfinished."

Topher wanted to question that, but Jordan was already comforting him, whispering reassuringly in his ear. Topher didn't hear every word, but there was definitely something about how the asshole would have to go through her first.

After a few minutes of silence, TC looked slightly calmer, and Topher felt it was safe to speak. "Jordan said he tried to kill you?"

TC grimaced and shrugged, looking down. "I really don't think he meant to, but the added charge got him a longer sentence, so I'm not complaining."

Topher let out a soft sigh, trying to think of something comforting to say, but coming up short. Finally, he decided to just screw it, and say what was on his mind. "This sucks."

TC snorted, glancing over at him in amusement. "No arguments here."

Jordan nodded emphatically, and Topher felt some sense of relief. It didn't seem like TC was regretting telling him, so now he just had to worry that he would screw this up.

"Look, T, I don't know what your life's been like. Yeah, part of me wishes you had told me before now, but I don't blame you. And it doesn't change anything." He bit his lip. "If you need anything, you know you can always come to me."

TC nodded slightly, one side of his mouth quirking up in a smile. "Yeah. Thanks." He shook himself off and sighed. "I'm not really sorry that I didn't tell you before now, but I am sorry if you felt like I don't trust you. I do. It's just…" he grimaced. "It's not exactly a life I'm proud of, you know? It was always just easier to tell people that my father was dead, rather than in prison for trying to kill me." Topher flinched at the harsh words, and TC and shook his head minutely. "I'll feel better once they re-arrest him."

"Me, too," Jordan commented, wrapping an arm around TC's waist as she rested her head on his shoulder. "I still can't believe they let him out in the first place."

TC shrugged, not bothering to answer. He didn't get it either, but then, he could admit that he was a bit biased.

Topher stepped away from the bike, giving TC what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "You should go get some rest. We'll talk later, yeah?"

TC nodded slightly, before Jordan gave him a hug. "Go to my place, T," she whispered, "please."

TC nodded again as he pulled back. "I'll see you in a few hours," he promised, before getting back on his bike and riding away.

Topher and Jordan watched him leave, before they wearily headed back inside to finish their shift.

 _Please review!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Night Shift**

TC and Jordan were running very late that afternoon. After Jordan had returned home from the hospital, they had spent far longer than planned sitting up talking, and then _not_ talking, and had ended up oversleeping.

TC was standing by the front door, waiting for Jordan to try and find her left shoe, when his phone rang.

He didn't look at the caller ID before answering, and had to sit down as he listened to the man on the other end of the call.

When Jordan came in a minute later, she was alarmed to find him sitting on the floor, leaning against the door. His cell phone was clenched in one hand, and his eyes were closed.

"T?"

TC opened his eyes quickly, looking up at her with an expression that she couldn't quite place. It was a mix of relieved, afraid, and sad.

"What's wrong?" she asked quickly, kneeling down in front of him.

TC shuddered slightly, making a solid effort to pull himself together. "The police just called," he informed her, his voice soft and uncertain.

Jordan nodded slowly. "Did they arrest him?"

TC shook his head, swallowing harshly as he leaned his head back so that it was resting against the door. "He resisted… apparently, he tried to attack an officer. There was a bit of a shoot out and…" he let out a long breath of air, and looked at Jordan once more. "He's dead."

Jordan's eyes widened as she leaned back in surprise. "He's…?"

TC nodded and then winced, his eyes filling with tears he refused to let fall. "Is it wrong that I'm happy?"

Jordan quickly shook her head. "Not at all," she assured him, smiling softly as she took his hand, and shifted so that she was sitting next to him. "I'm happy too."

TC let out a shuddering breath and forced himself to get it together. "I don't know… I thought I might feel relieved if he ever died, but I didn't expect to be happy about it. I shouldn't –"

Jordan immediately cut him off, using one hand to turn his head to face her, so that she knew he was listening. "T, you are not a bad person for feeling this way. He was a horrible man, and he did a lot of horrible things, to you and others. It's all right to feel like this. I know it feels wrong. We both took that oath to do no harm, and as a doctor, your job is to save people. But he doesn't deserve it. Don't feel guilty for having this reaction. You owe him nothing."

TC didn't look like he quite believed Jordan, but he did look better, and he allowed her to help him drag himself to his feet.

"Do you want to call out?" Jordan asked hesitantly, wondering if he should maybe just take the night off.

TC immediately shook his head. "I'm fine," he replied, knowing it wasn't true and that Jordan knew it wasn't true, but needing to say it anyway. Jordan just raised an eyebrow in expectation, and he sighed, shrugging ruefully. "I can't just sit around here doing nothing, J. I'll be OK."

Jordan sighed but nodded in agreement, and led the way outside to her car, TC following quickly behind.

 **XXX**

TC loved his job. He really did. What he didn't enjoy were the looks his colleagues kept throwing him.

He knew they had gotten a very unwelcome glimpse into his personal life last night, but that didn't mean they had to keep staring at him, did it? Why couldn't they all act like Topher, and just pretend that nothing had happened?

Sure, Topher knew the whole story now, and being the best friend that he was, was doing what TC wanted, but that shouldn't make any difference in the way the rest of them were acting.

It was getting very exhausting, and if TC had to spend any more time having awkward conversations with Drew discussing treatment plans, or listening to Paul stutter out a hesitant differential diagnosis, he was seriously going to hurt someone.

The only slight positive was that Scott and Michael seemed to be avoiding him, so at least he hadn't had to deal with their pitying looks or uncomfortable questions.

At least until Scott planned an ill-timed visit to the nurse's station to pick up a chart, at the same time TC was busy filling out some paperwork.

The surgeon hesitated briefly, before he stepped closer and cleared his throat. "How did you know?" he asked curiously, his voice soft and uncertain.

TC looked up, startled, before he furrowed his brow in confusion.

Scott grimaced. "About my sister."

TC's expression cleared, though he was a little surprised that that was what the surgeon had chosen to focus on, out of everything that had happened yesterday. He shrugged, turning back to his clipboard. "The nurse's know everything," he replied, focusing on his paperwork. "And they love to gossip. Just because I listen doesn't mean I go around spreading what I know." He glanced back at Scott. "She lives in Duluth, right? Blood-sucking attorney. Two kids, ten and eight. The oldest loves soccer, the youngest wants to be just like his mom."

Scott nodded slowly, startled. How the hell did TC know all that?

TC smirked lightly. "You talk about your family, people overhear, they tell other people, who tell other people. The nurses basically keep this hospital running; I listen to them gossip because they like to do it, and I like to keep them happy. It makes everything much easier."

He signed something at the bottom of his clipboard and placed it on the desk behind the nurse's station, before walking away without a backwards glance at the stunned surgeon.

Molly glanced up from her spot at the desk, and fixed Scott with a knowing look. "You really thought he was as arrogant and conceited as you painted him?" she asked archly. Scott shrugged helplessly, and Molly sighed, leaning back in her seat. "Just because he doesn't advertise it doesn't mean he doesn't care. He might say that he only listens to keep us happy, but you've never seen him comfort one of the nurses after her boyfriend broke up with her, or listen to another talk about her father's battle with cancer, or the family drama, or whatever the issue of the week is."

Molly smiled fondly, thinking about all the times TC had stepped up to lend a helping hand, for no other reason than he just wanted to be there for someone else. "He spent an hour after shift last week letting one of the nurses cry on his shoulder, because her dog had just died."

Scott blinked slowly, trying to resolve the TC Molly was telling him about, with the conceited asshole doctor he knew who would always try and insert himself into the OR, and who thought he was better than every other doctor at the hospital.

But did he? Scott wasn't so sure anymore.

Molly stood up, giving him a stern gaze. "You might have issues with him, but TC is one of the best people I know. You hurt him, it won't only be Jordan you have to worry about." She walked away, not giving Scott a chance to respond, even if he had been able to.

"Dog, huh?"

Scott turned around quickly, letting out a breath of air when he saw Michael standing behind him, looking slightly amused, but mostly concerned.

Scott grimaced and shrugged, leaning against the nurse's station. "It's like all of a sudden, I have no idea who he is."

"Surprised to hear that not everyone thinks he's an ass?" Drew made his presence known on the other side of the desk. His gaze was focused down at the clipboard he was writing on, but he was clearly paying them attention.

"You hate him because Jordan was always in love with him," even though he was still looking at the chart in front of him, they could see him roll his eyes. "You hate him because even after they broke up, Jordan still put him first." He finally glanced up, fixing Scott with a half-glare. "I might not know everything about him, but I know enough to not care about the rest. He's always going to be one of my best friends. You see him pushing his way into the OR and don't for one second consider that maybe it's because he cares about the patient enough to just want to make sure they're all right. Or that maybe he promised a friend, or a loved one, that he would keep an eye out."

Drew straightened up, folding his arms across his chest as his glare intensified, shifting back and forth between Scott and Michael, both of whom had given TC a hard time over the months and years. "You see a guy who has no respect for authority. He was in the Army. Believe me, he knows how to respect authority. He just knows that sometimes, there can be things more important than pleasantries. I see the guy who spent months helping me study to get into Ranger School, who took me on a three day training crash course when I got in, to give me an overview of the kinds of things I could expect at School. The guy who spent hours off-shift going over cases and files with me, teaching me more about medicine than I ever learned in the sandbox. The guy who had me pegged less than a month after I started working here, and kept it a secret for over a year before he even approached me. And even after that, he never told anyone about me and Rick."

Scott and Michael shared a look, but didn't say anything as Drew suddenly turned serious. "Your problem is that you both see what you want to see. And nothing anyone tells you will change your mind. I think you'll find there are a whole lot of people waiting for an opportunity to show T how appreciated he is. He doesn't tend to let others help, but that doesn't mean we're not going to."

Neither man knew what to say as Drew walked away. Knowing that they really shouldn't be standing around talking about a coworker's private life, they quickly hurried to get back to work.

 **XXX**

TC was really looking forward to this shift being over. He knew it was only because of Jordan and Topher that he hadn't already completely lost it, but he didn't know how much longer he could hold out. Interestingly enough, Drew seemed to have done a complete one eighty about halfway through the shift. He hadn't said anything to TC, but his attitude changed entirely, and he no longer seemed to be walking on eggshells, to TC's relief. He really liked Drew, but it was incredibly annoying to have to deal with him when he was acting so different.

There were less than two hours left in the shift – not that TC was counting or anything (one hour and fifty eight minutes) – when the morning news came on the television at the nurse's station. Normally, people didn't really pay attention. The television was always on, after all, usually showing news stations, especially if there was any disaster they would need to be ready for.

People only stopped to listen when they saw the picture in the upper right hand corner, recognizing the man TC had kicked out the day before.

Most of the night shift was in the ER at the time, and paused what they were doing to pay attention to the woman on the screen. Molly was talking to Drew and Krista about a patient they had seen earlier in the night, while Kenny was discussing infectious diseases with Michael, since the former administrator was studying religiously to pass his boards in a couple of weeks. Scott was filling out paperwork at the nurse's station, while Topher and Paul were going over possible diagnoses of a man who had just come in. Gwen was hanging out at the nurse's station, waiting for Jordan to reappear so that she could beg some food off of the doctor.

TC was at the far end of the ER, but he saw the gathered crowd, and grimaced as he took in the current report playing on the television, realizing that Richard's actions were probably big enough to warrant him his own story on the morning news.

"Former convict Richard Callahan was killed in a police shoot out yesterday afternoon," the reporter stated. "He was the main suspect in an armed robbery three days ago. Police were able to recover the gun from a third party, and linked it to both the robbery and Callahan. When they attempted to arrest him, Callahan resisted, attacking the officers, before he was shot twice. He was pronounced dead at the scene." The anchor shuffled her papers around before continuing. "Callahan was arrested and convicted in 1998 for charges of child abuse, endangerment, assault, resisting arrest, and attempted murder."

TC flinched at the way the entire night shift seemed to collectively gasp at the list of charges.

"He served fifteen years of a twenty five year sentence, before being released on parole six months ago. The shooting yesterday has been ruled justified, and no further investigation will take place. Nicole, back to you."

TC didn't wait for people to realize that he was there and quickly left the area.

When it looked like the news reporter had finished the story, Topher made a gesture for everyone to get back to work. It wasn't their business.

Most looked confused and concerned, but listened to the night shift chief and went back to their jobs.

Drew didn't even attempt to hide his trepidation as he made his way to Topher's side. "Does he know?" the younger man asked brusquely. There was a time and a place for delicacy, and right now, he just didn't care.

Topher grimaced and sighed, shrugging helplessly. "I think I saw him around before the report came up, but I'm not sure. Jordan's not here either." He rubbed a hand across his face wearily as he leaned against the nurse's station. "This is the last thing T wanted," he admitted. "He hates looking weak, and in his mind, all of this just makes him look helpless. There's a reason he doesn't talk about it, and yeah, maybe I was a little upset that he didn't trust me, but I get it. It's his life, and now the entire shift knows. It'll be all over the hospital by tomorrow."

Drew winced sympathetically. He knew how fast gossip could travel, and he knew what it was like to be in the middle of all that. He hated it, and he knew that TC was like him in a lot of ways, always trying to stay out of the limelight, happy to just do his job and not draw attention.

Topher shook himself off and pushed himself off the desk. "I'm going to go see if I can find him."

Drew nodded quickly, and fell into step with the night shift chief as he headed towards the elevator. When Topher looked at him, he shrugged. "Don't even try it."

Topher understood. He knew that they were friends, and it was obvious how much the younger doctor cared about TC. It would be useless to try and fight him on this. Drew could be almost as stubborn as TC at times.

Following a hunch, Topher led them up to the roof. TC liked to come up here sometimes, so he thought it was a good guess.

TC and Jordan were sitting at the edge of the roof when Topher and Drew opened the door. They hesitated only briefly before joining the two.

Jordan glanced up for a moment, giving them a silent nod before she turned back to her boyfriend.

Topher and Drew sat down but didn't speak, wanting TC to dictate how this would go. He had had too much of his control ripped from him in the last day, they didn't want to make it worse for him.

The group remained quiet for several minutes, watching the rising sun peek its way over the tops of the city buildings.

"I'm not going to break, you know," TC finally spoke, still not looking at anyone, his gaze fixed on the cityscape in front of them.

Topher looked slightly concerned, but Drew snorted suddenly, cutting through anything he might have said. "That's what you think we're worried about?" he asked incredulously. TC shrugged, his eyes flickering over to observe the younger doctor out of the corner of his eyes. Drew shook his head exasperatedly. "T, you're like the dumbest smart person I know."

TC raised an eyebrow, while Topher and Jordan hid smiles. Drew sighed. "T, I know you have some aversion to ever asking for help, but we care. We're not worried about you because we think you're going to break or something. We worry because we care about you. We don't like seeing you hurt, and we hate the idea that someone, somewhere, and at some time, caused you pain." He paused for a moment, considering, and then decided to go for it. "I'm glad the bastard's dead," he said savagely.

Topher nodded in agreement, while Jordan leaned into TC's side, giving him a light hug. He knew how she felt about it; they had already had this conversation.

TC had to stop himself from smiling at the show of support; it was true that he didn't ask for help often. It wasn't that he thought he could handle it alone, it was just that he didn't think he knew how. His entire life, he had been taking care of himself. And where he fell short, Thad was always there without fail, picking up after him. He had never asked his brother to be there, Thad just was.

He didn't know how to let other people in, how to let other people fill a role that had been reserved for Thad. A role that had been little more than a gaping hole in his life ever since his brother had died.

Jordan had forced her way in, and TC had found to his surprise that he didn't mind her help so much. Topher had managed to worm his way past more walls than most, but TC had always stubbornly held that last barrier firm against his best friend, afraid to let him in completely. And very few others had cared to even try.

Maybe some of that was on him, though. He couldn't just expect people to know what he was thinking, right?

Was Drew right? TC knew he had been a doctor here for a while, but he hadn't thought he made that much of an impression on most of his colleagues. Sure, he always made an effort to be there when someone needed help, but was that really worthy of the level of concern Drew seemed to believe the night shift felt for him?

He didn't think so, but maybe he was wrong. It just made sense for him to be a decent person and help out when he could. Wouldn't anyone else do the same thing?

TC knew he should probably say something, but what? Finally, he looked up, glancing at Drew out of the corner of his eye as he gave the younger doctor a slight nod.

Jordan rested her head on his shoulder as she looked over at Drew as well, her smile approving. She had spent years trying to get TC to understand that he was worth so much more than he thought, but she had never really been able to make him believe it.

They sat in silence for a while longer, nothing more needing to be said. For the first time in years, TC actually felt comfortable.

It seemed like ever since Thad's death, he had never felt completely at ease in his own skin. It was like Thad had been a grounding force for him, keeping him from actually losing it, holding him together when he felt like he was coming apart at the seams.

TC was no stranger to discomfort; his father had really messed him up, and he didn't know how to really let himself relax around other people. With Jordan, he had found someone who didn't care about all his issues. For some reason, she had never let his inability to connect interfere.

But she was the exception; TC didn't normally feel at ease around others, no matter how much he acted that way. He was very good at pretending that nothing was wrong.

So why was it that he was feeling so comfortable right now? Topher and Drew were friends, but that hadn't stopped him from keeping them at a distance before.

Maybe because he was finally starting to realize that he wasn't actually alone. Topher and Drew knew the truth, and they were still here. They were providing support, and yes, it made TC feel slightly embarrassed, but not enough to wish them gone. Even now, though they must have questions, they were remaining silent, deferring to him, because they wanted him to feel at ease.

It was probably five minutes later that Topher grimaced and shifted slightly in his spot. "Not that I wouldn't mind staying up here for the rest of shift, but we are still kind of on the clock," he admitted. "T, if you want to stay here, you can. But I should probably get back."

TC immediately stood up, pulling Jordan to her feet when she held out a hand. Drew also stood up, taking a step back to let them sort this out themselves. "I'm fine," he promised, wrapping his arm around Jordan's shoulders as she snaked her own around his waist. "Seriously. It's not like I found out on the news this morning. They called me yesterday. I can honestly say I don't care."

Topher seemed to search his expression for a moment, apparently finding what he was looking for as he nodded slightly. "Well, if anyone gives you a hard time, just let me know and I'll fire them."

TC rolled his eyes as they all headed back inside. He was grateful that Topher was such a good friend, but he really didn't need other people fighting his battles. He had been looking after himself pretty much his entire life, no matter what Thad might have said – yes, Thad had always looked out for his brother, but TC had had to learn how to look after himself from a young age. Thad couldn't always be there, after all.

Still, he appreciated the gesture.

TC didn't know how the rest of the hospital would treat him after today, but at least he was fairly confident that his friends wouldn't look at him any differently.

He had always thought that Thad was his only real family, and after he had died, TC had felt all alone, even with Jordan there.

But maybe that was wrong; family didn't have to be blood-related. After all, TC didn't consider Richard to be family, despite the DNA connection. Topher, Drew, hell even Molly, Kenny, and Gwen, he could almost consider them family. Maybe in time, he might include Paul, Krista, Scott, and Michael as well. They spent tons of time together, they hung out after shift, he felt like he could count on them if he needed help.

TC didn't know how to ask, but if what Drew had said was true, maybe he didn't need to. Maybe being family meant that whether or not you asked, they were there.

Yeah, TC had a pretty good family.

 _And that's it! I'm a little uncertain about this story, so I really hope you've enjoyed it._

 _Please review!_


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